Young people in Turkey expect a happy home from marriage, and a spouse who can be a friend to have fun with when the time comes, a shoulder to lean on and cry on, someone to share their troubles with, someone to explore new places with, and someone who always treats them with respect and love. However, not everyone’s expectations of marriage will be the same. While some prefer to marry for love, others may prefer a marriage of convenience (logic). While emotions and love are at the forefront of a love marriage, goals and life conditions are at the forefront of a marriage of convenience.
Since emotions are stronger in a love marriage, problems can be tolerated more easily at the beginning; however, if problems grow, the disappointment can be experienced more severely. In a marriage of convenience, problems can be solved more calmly because there are more realistic expectations. If you ask me, marriage should not be just between love and logic, but based on a balance of both.
Another expectation is that spouses can help each other in every matter. Spouses should help each other in areas such as household chores, financial issues, family and social circle relationships, emotional support in difficult times, and personal development. The sharing of chores within the house is also of great importance. For example, while the woman cleans the house, the man can cook. In this way, both tasks are completed and time is saved. Additionally, the entire responsibility does not remain with a single party. Both parties fulfilling their responsibilities within the home makes the marriage a more peaceful living space.
In Turkey, the expectation of families and the social environment from marriage involves having children. The questions of “When is the baby?” make it bothersome for young people that their only expectation from marriage is perceived as having a child. When married young people encounter this question, they feel under pressure. Furthermore, having a child means taking on a great responsibility. The feeling of being there for that child’s care, upbringing, and education—both financially and spiritually in every field—will certainly not be easy.
Additionally, toughening life conditions have pushed individuals to the background regarding having children. Some married couples do not want children at all and find it right to adopt a cat or a dog, some consider a single child, and some consider two children at most. When we look at our elders, we see that they have at least two or three siblings, but in current and future generations, children will grow up either with only one sibling or no siblings at all.
Moreover, “choosing the right person” in marriage will not be very easy. If marriage is with a right person, happiness will be permanent. However, in the opposite case, divorce rates show an increase. Unfortunately, violence against women and femicides that we experience are also increasing in our country. Since it is very difficult to trust people, the expectations of young people from marriage are also decreasing. In fact, we have reached a state of being afraid of marriage.
Looking at it in a general sense, young people in Turkey expect a happy home and perhaps having a child along with it, but they hesitate to marry due to reasons such as the effect of toughening life conditions, economic difficulties, the decrease in trust in the environment, and the increase in divorce rates and femicides.
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